Dear Haya,

What is a good way to deal with two-faced people who seem good on the surface but are really cunning otherwise? No matter what one does and where one goes, you always end up bumping into such people whether in family gatherings, larger friend’s circles, at work or otherwise.

This has become more common as I would’ve thought. I personally have a hard time being friendly with such people because why invest your good energy towards someone who does not even deserve it. It is sometimes difficult to avoid such people due to certain unavoidable reasons.

In such cases, what is the best way to keep oneself away from their negative energy?

Dear concerned,

Others people’s behaviour is how they feel about themselves.

I would suggest the best way to deal with this would be through self-awareness and creating boundaries.

If someone’s energy is draining you and doesn’t feel right, know how much energy to invest in them. Be clear in your communication with them and be mindful about the amount of information you give to them. Limit your interaction with them and only interact when necessary. Be in charge of your own emotions and not too invest in them emotionally and know their behaviour is how they feel about themselves and vice versa. Creating and maintaining boundaries will enable you to keep your mental health and well being intact.

Moreover, I would encourage you to interact and build relationships with people who bring joy in you and feel positive to your health and wellbeing.

And most importantly remember to take care of yourself. Engage in activities that nourish your mind and body. This will help you stay resilient against negative influences. Manage your stress, techniques like deep breathing, exercise, and hobbies can help you manage stress effectively.

If it gets too overwhelming I would suggest to seek support from a therapist or life coach who could provide you emotional support and personalised strategies.

Haya

Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.

Send her your questions to [email protected]

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