But in the end, when Jets kicker Greg Zuerlein’s 54-yard field goal sailed through the uprights, the Commanders continued their mid-to-late-season slide with their sixth straight loss and eighth in their past nine games. Whoopee!

Jacoby Brissett outshines Sam Howell again in another Commanders loss

Rivera almost canceled Christmas for anyone with a rooting interest in the team’s direction for 2024 and beyond, and he could not have cared less about doing so. He still has to sound like a head coach, so to the fans who want the team to lose to secure a higher draft pick, Rivera said this Sunday: “[We’re] going to show up, and we’re going to work, and we’re going to play to win. Everything we do is about winning. It’s got nothing to do … about losing. If that’s what they’re thinking, then it’s unfortunate.”

Unfortunately, for Rivera at least, in the first half the Commanders gave their fans what they wanted: dizzying ineptitude. Tight end Logan Thomas couldn’t handle a hot pass that ricocheted into the hands of Jets safety Tony Adams. Just two plays and 10 seconds into the game, Howell had the first of his two interceptions. Later, the Jets executed a pretty decent pick play with wideouts Garrett Wilson and Jason Brownlee, causing cornerback Kendall Fuller to react late and leave Brownlee untouched for an eight-yard touchdown, part of New York’s 17-point opening quarter. During that same stretch, the Commanders ran 17 plays for 42 yards.

Despite the Commanders’ best efforts to rally — and, for real, kudos to Brissett for being such a reliable veteran that he almost captained a comeback victory — the best result happened for the franchise. According to ESPN, Washington entered with an 81 percent chance at a top-three draft pick if it does the most reasonably sane thing and loses out, so this atrocious holiday performance wasn’t for naught. The Commanders might end up with a late Christmas gift of Caleb Williams or Drake Maye.

But why bore you — and myself — by digging deeper into the Commanders’ grit and their never-say-die mentality? I would rather write about the Rockettes.

Goodness gracious. Nothing screams “Christmas in New York” more than long-legged dancers kicking in precise lines — and saps like myself wincing in their seats while imagining the muscles we would pull if we tried to do the same. Their 90-minute show was nothing short of spectacular — and deserving of the overuse of exclamation points. There was a 3D Santa clearly not using a good navigation app while flying over Niagara Falls to get to Radio City Music Hall! Fairy drones hovered over delighted customers in the expensive floor seats! Pyrotechnics, for some reason! And a real-life camel!

I must admit, however, the only down part came during the whole “Santa’s Helpers” bit. A few adults in brightly colored costumes went searching for Santa out in the streets because Mrs. Claus needed to speak with him — obviously there are no cellphones at the North Pole. The Helpers were on the stage way too long, which I imagine was to give the real stars of the show — the Rockettes — a breather and a wardrobe change. It reminded me of this Commanders season: one long, boring interlude.

Consider Rivera the leader of his own group of Santa’s Helpers. Working for a new ownership group that arrived a bit too late in the offseason to mix up the front office, Rivera entered this season as the human embodiment of an intermission. He tapped a quarterback-in-training as his starter, went with a secondary with a habit of allowing explosive plays and didn’t improve the roster from the milquetoast 8-8-1 season of a year ago. The Commanders went on with this season because they are mandated to by the NFL, but 2023 was always going to be the gap year before the new owners started to mold the franchise to their liking.

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As the losing dragged on, it became clear that Rivera will exit stage left so the franchise can get on with the good part: the Rockettes. Oh, I mean the Rebuild.

Looking back at the past four seasons, the Rivera years will be defined by stagnation. While the franchise moved forward in significant ways — the name changes and the arrival of the Josh Harris group — the team did not grow into anything resembling a contender. Under Rivera, the Commanders have been the doormat of the NFC East save for the coronavirus-altered 2020 season, when 7-9 was enough to claim the division title.

He also whiffed on high first-round picks. Chase Young is gone, Jamin Davis is out for the season, and Emmanuel Forbes Jr. is missing in action. Rivera only seemed to remember late in Sunday’s game that the rookie cornerback should, you know, play to develop into an NFL player.

But most of all, Rivera has committed malfeasance by wasting prime years of wide receiver Terry McLaurin’s career. Instead of pairing the team’s best weapon with stability at quarterback, the Commanders have trotted out one inconsistent passer after another. Howell played so poorly in the first half at MetLife Stadium that he had a 15.1 quarterback rating.

While Howell may no longer spend most of his Sundays on his back — flattened by defenders hunting for sacks — he hasn’t shown enough while he’s upright to be considered the hands-down starter of the Commanders’ future.

Who could argue against that after watching the past two months? Any early optimism about Washington’s offensive vigor has been forgotten. Eric Bieniemy’s offense never established the running game, so the unit has relied too much on Howell, a second-year quarterback in name only considering he started one game as a rookie. Howell can chuck it, but the offense stalls while he’s under center. On Sunday, if Washington had a game plan to keep going three-and-out so McLaurin wouldn’t have to do more cardio, it worked to perfection. With his team trailing 27-7 midway through the third quarter, Rivera benched Howell for the second straight week. He finished 6 for 22 for 56 yards, his last throw resulting in an interception.

“It’s been tough for him. It’s been a tough year for all of us,” said McLaurin, who finished with three receptions for 50 yards. “I still believe in the ability that he has. He’s shown a lot of great things this year, and when he’s back out there next week, we’re going to keep chopping the wood and help him out as much as we can.”

While watching this team appear to embrace the tank, only to nearly blow it later, I wondered about the type of person who would watch the Commanders in person on Christmas Eve, those who spent money to come to New Jersey. They chose to be here — when, inside their homes, there might have been warmer seats and even eggnog — to watch Jamison Crowder lose a fumble on a punt return in the most comically awkward way imaginable. Just picture your kids around the table for Christmas dinner when one of them flings a roll in the air for no reason. That was Crowder.

We won’t have to watch this for too much longer. Send in Santa’s Helpers for two more weeks. Thankfully, this prolonged, cursed interlude will soon be over.