Ellen DeGeneres has opened up about the emotional toll after the allegations of toxic work environment on her talk show.

In her final Netflix special, Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval, Ellen expressed her feeling about the July 2020 scandal.

Ellen described the accusations as “devastating.” She said, “I’m happy not being a boss or a brand or a billboard, just a person,” as quoted by PEOPLE magazine.

The former talk show host emphasized her complexity as an individual, saying, “Just a multifaceted person with different feelings and emotions, and I can be happy and sad and compassionate or frustrated. I have OCD and ADD. I’m honest. I’m generous. I’m sensitive and thoughtful.”

She added, “But I’m tough, and I’m impatient, and I’m demanding. I’m direct. I’m a strong woman” which received cheers and standing ovations from the audience.

Reflecting on her experience as public figure, Ellen said, “I’ve spent an entire lifetime trying to make people happy and I’ve cared far too much what other people think of me. So, the thought of anyone thinking that I’m mean was devastating to me, and it consumed me for a long time.”

The Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval is available on Netflix.